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Perspectives on life

Lawyered by Life

In one of my favourite series ever, How I Met Your Mother, the character called Marshall is known for his catchphrase: “You’ve been lawyered!” Sometimes life works like this: There you are minding your own business, usually going by your elitist ways, when… BAM! You’ve been lawyered… By life!

So you’re scrolling down your news feed on Facebook, when suddenly you see a horrendous spelling error… You write a smug comment, with the aim of informing the poor grammar jew that he is in fact sadly mistaken if he thinks that a certain word is spelled correctly… Life then rushes to the aid of your victim to lawyer you and something like this happens: “I wood just like to remind that it is spelled ‘conscience’ not ‘conshins.'” LAWYERED!

You ordinarily don’t eat sweet things… But there are sweet things all round, ready to be enjoyed! Then one night while lazing around the house, you think to yourself, “Myself, I am in the mood for a sweet thing!” You go to the kitchen, just to discover that anything containing sugar has been eaten. Coincidence? Nope! LAWYERED!

There is useless item lying around the house… You see it 20 times a day and you almost hate its very existence! So one day somebody tells you that they are in search of this useless item… Suddenly you realise that this is exactly the useless item that you see everyday! You go to look for the useless item and… LAWYERED! It is nowhere to be found!

You start hating somebody… You are no longer friends with this person and since you were always in a stronger social position, you decide to use other people to make the one you hate’s life hell… You get it right, but nothing lasts forever! Next thing you know: LAWYERED! And then you stand alone!

That moment when somebody relays exactly what you said about them right back to you… The look on your face speaks of nothing else than being LAWYERED!

You said something to somebody that you could physically see the pain that you inflicted on them. Now sleep is evading you… You’ve been LAWYERED!

You mock somebody for always being really drunk and brag about your own alcohol tolerance (NEVER do this while drinking) when suddenly everything starts twisting and turning and you feel like you’re inside a tornado… Because then you should know that you’ve been LAWYERED!

You hear one of the dumbest statements to be written in a test during the 21st century… You tell everybody, while giggling like a hyena. Be very careful of the next test, because your lecturer will in all probability have a good chuckle, since you’ve been LAWYERED!

You call karma a bitch… Don’t call karma a bitch! Karma is a feminist, that hates being called a bitch, rather take a more diplomatic approach, say that you have be LAWYERED by life! Don’t mess with karma… She WILL get you!

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